Sudden illness, it can change everything!

Living in the RV full time and constantly being on the road can mean trying to get a doctors appointment more challenging and the day I walked into the hospital, we both knew there was something wrong with me. I hadn't been 100% right all summer but the time had finally come when I couldn't delay doing something about it any longer.

That morning we'd had a quick trip into London, that was the last straw for Fred as I was bent over double, breathlessly waiting for the train. Today I had my interview at the American Embassy in regards to my fiance visa application. We'd spent 10 (expensive) months waiting for this and I wasn't going to let anything make me miss it - my health included!! Interview done, it was a success and I had been granted permission to move to the USA - fantastic, celebration time!! But first....

I had agreed with Fred this morning (whilst I was bent over double and couldn't really argue) that once this interview was over, I had no more excuses to not to go see a doctor in regards to my health issue. So that lovely sunny Tuesday afternoon in October, I let Fred take me to A&E (Accident & Emergency). It was time, I knew I wasn't right, that there was something wrong. I just wasn't sure exactly what and truthfully I didn't want to hear the outcome, that's what worried me and partly why I didn't want to see anyone aboutit. The fear of knowing, and I knew the answer would not be good, but I never expected it to be as bad as it turned out.

We entered A&E in Crawley, gave my name and details and the general problem I was experiencing, breathlessness being the most significant and was told to wait. The waiting room was full, which for a Tuesday afternoon suprised us both, however I wasn't in there more than 2 minutes when I was called in for triage, and straight away I was hooked up to various machines and answering plenty of questions.

I had pads and wires all over me and plenty of nurses attending to me alongside the continued questions, medication was given to me, something to try and calm my breathing, but the ongoing results from my EKG were not good and suddenly they were wanting to take me to another hospital. Fred by my side was concerned, what's going on? I was being prepped to have a ride in an ambulance, as they needed to get me to another hospital pronto - Oh, this was serious! I was being taken on "blues and twos" there - well that's a first for me!!

Fred was told where they were taking me, East Surrey Hospital, in Redhill, and he left to make his own way there in 'Wanda'. Then complication number one occured when suddenly they changed hospital to Royal Sussex County, in Brighton, instead, it was closer and more suitable for my condition... but it is in the completely opposite direction to where Fred had been told to go!

Complication number two - I'd given him my mobile phone to look after so I couldn't call and tell him of the change of plan - Argh!! This then caused more panic than necessary as I couldn't remember his phone number - I am not one of those people who can memorise numbers, my phone does that! The only phone number I could remember was my mother's landline. So there I am in the back of the ambulance, with oxygen and a paramedic trying to keep me under control, whilst another paramedic is trying to get a message to Fred over the change of hospital via my mother who only wants to ask twenty questions of her own! Not ideal.

Then we were on the move, sirens going and the blue lights flashing, one paramedic was in communication with hospital in Brighton, whilst the other continued monitoring me. This is where I finally learnt that I had had a heart attack and my EKG results were worryingly implying there might be more coming. We were making record time to get there, what normally would take 45 mins to drive we made in less than half an hour!!

We arrived and I was moved from the ambulance to a bed, more pads and wires and several more people fussing around me, another batch of questions and lots of information passed from the paramedics to my new carers. More medication to try and "calm" me as they were not liking my EKG results. Fred finally arrived - parking in Brighton is not easy at the best of times, it's even harder when you have a long wheel based camper to try and squeeze in somewhere where parking is restricted!

Em lying in bed waiting for surgery....

Then the waiting, constant monitoring, and for me, just lazing about on a bed whilst Fred fussed at me, stressed and generally looked far too worried. The urgency for surgery had passed and they were able to find a bed on a ward so they could monitor me overnight and surgery was scheduled for the morning.

Fred was sent home.... but where was home? We live in a campervan on the road, no fixed abode as such. Luckily there is a campsite just down the road and being mid-week and out of season as such, they had some availability so he was able to go there, not that he wanted to leave me but he had no choice.

During this sudden worrying turn of events, I was desperate to see my children, they live with my ex husband and, although I communicate with them directly and had told them what was happening to the extent of my knowledge at that time, to actually get to see them I had to go through my ex. Frustratingly, this turned out to be so much harder than it needed to be, with his attitude and added even more unnecessary stress to what was already a traumatic, worrying time. Eventually, through many communications back and forth I was granted "permission" to see my children the next day. Fred was not impressed with my ex causing such extra stress.

Now to rest, pretty hard when you are strapped to goodness knows how many wires and machines beeping at you and your mind is still trying to process what's just happened in the last 12 hours and all the information the doctors have said - a heart attack! I'm not yet 50, have been a keen long distance walker, runner, ultra marathoner for many years and I have had a heart attack, WTF! I couldn't comprehend it, I always thought I was relatively healthy.

Turns out, this was not caused by bad food choices it was more from my early years of smoking cigarettes (though I can say I have been smoke free for over 20 years!!) In addition, the long term stresses from my working carrier, but the catalyst was the sudden intense stress I had been under from the lengthy divorce with my ex. All the health issues I had been having all year, turns out they were angina attacks, I just hadn't know that's what they were.

So next day, surgery day! I had been booked for surgery in the morning, at the time they wheeled me down we were not sure exactly what they were going to find or how bad it was until they had me on the operating table to investigate everything. I had responded well to the medication they kept giving me so they were hopefull it wasn't too serious.

Surgery over, one stent fitted, another needs doing but not bad enough yet and I was back on the ward. Shortly after, Fred arrived, bringing my children with him! Oh it was the best thing to see them and even better as I was being discharged that night, I'd responded well to the surgery and all my stats were behaving, so I was free to go. This was fantastic news as it meant I could have the whole evening together with my boys. This is when my new life began.

No-one prepares you for this, prior to all this happening, getting up and about, walking around for hours on end, walking to the loo, just climbing the stairs, it had never been an issue for me before, I was an ultra-marathoner and I regularly used to walk 10 or 20 miles as if it was just a stroll in the park. But now, post surgery, WOW! (and not in a good way) it was a completely different thing.

Suddenly I couldn't walk very far and when I did walk even a little, I would get so very, very tired, bone weary, a fatigue I had never felt before. One that no matter how much sleep I got, no matter how much "taking it easy" or "resting" I did, I would still feel utterly exhausted, a constant fatigue of utter depletion, no energy, everything was an immense effort.

After all my years of doing many long distant races, they had never affected me like this. This was a whole new thing to come to terms with, to understand. My new capabilities or more to the point lack off and I had to retrain myself, shrug off the constant frustration of suddenly being 'useless', a 'burden', unable to do very much, this was the hardest thing to deal with, when before all this, it had all come so naturally - this has and still is at times, been the hardest thing I have had to live with.

Released from hospital, Fred had managed to reserve a pitch in the campsite for the week, to give me a chance to recover and make sure there were no complication after the surgery. It also meant we didn't have the hassle of travelling finding parking spots en route, and with the added bonus, by staying here it gave me the chance to see my children a bit more easily.

Of course all of this put a complete spanner in the works in regards to the impending USA plan. My visa had been granted but it was only valid for 6 months, and if we didn't go within the time frame we would have to start the whole costly visa process again. Our initial plan (pre-hospital) had been, that if they said yes we would be in America by Christmas. But now I couldn't go anywhere until late february at the earliest - I was on strict doctor's orders. So now what? Where can we go? What can we do?

Fred decided I needed rest and relaxation, a chance to recouperate and not somewhere in the cold and certainly not cramped up in the campervan for 3 months, so he found us a beautiful Airbnb villa in southern Italy that we could rent. So the plan was to take a leisurely drive down to get there, then rest and recouperate in the beautiful Italian countryside before meandering our way back to the UK in late February in time to see the doctors and get an update to whether I will be fit enough to travel/move to the USA.... but all of that is another story (read here)

So, to recap what started as a really good morning yesterday turned into a life changing event. It's funny how life can throw you these major curveballs and you just have to grab them and learn to adapt. Today we start a new day with a new but different life, with changes and adjustments that we are still trying to understand and comprehend. Sudden illness can change everything, but throughout all of this, it also brings it home, even more so, the importance of making each and every day count, of living life to the fullest, to take a chance and most of all to make lots of memories.

We only get one chance at this life, make it count!!

Thank you for taking the time to read our story.

We want to express our HUGE thanks to all the amazing NHS Staff at Crawley Hospital and Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton for their care and support, we are truly grateful to them and the fantastic UK institution that is the NHS (National Health Service). It's times like this that truly make you appreciate all that it does for us here in the UK. It's not perfect, it has it's problems but it is there when you really need it 24/7, 365 days a year and it is free to UK citizens.